One Giant Step For Me, One Tiny Millimetre For God

Tonight was bittersweet. We saw JL, the 20 year old we had taken to the rehab centre and who decided after 5 days he didn't want to stay there anymore. I asked him why he left and he said he had to wake up at 4am everyday and when he disobeyed he had to wash all the dishes. I told him I really wanted to smack him upside the head so bad. We met him at about 7:40pm and he had just woken up. The cast on his hand was off and he said his hand hurt still. I said no kidding, he had 2 fractures and now it's worse cos it probably has set incorrectly. He still smokes some and lives in the park beneath the bridge. We spoke words of life into him and also common sense, telling him we really care for him but we can't do anything if he doesn't want to change. Luchin and I prayed for him before we left and he didn't want us to leave but there was nothing we could do for him at this point but pray for him really hard. 


So many of us are classic JLs. I know I was. I chose to walk my own path for many years even when I knew God's love and grace. I chose to go homeless when God had His arms open to receive me. I thought I knew what was best for me, that I could control my own destiny. And all the while I was just existing in my own vortex of nothingness. Until I hit rock bottom. I didn't do drugs or drink myself into a stupor. On the contrary, I thought I was too smart for that and that was my problem. I thought I was too smart. Too smart to acknowledge that there is a God; even though I had had a taste of His goodness before. But He never let me go. There is nothing that can separate us from God's love and since He is love; there is nothing that can separate us from Him even when we are the ones who try to put up the barriers. So many people prayed for me all those years when I was lost in myself. I wouldn't be where I am now without their steadfast prayers. 


LG was my giant step tonight. She wanted to talk to me when we got to where the women were. It was about a legal matter that she was thinking of pursuing. While listening to her, I kept praying for wisdom and God responded. She listened when I counseled and then said she would withhold doing what she had thought to do because of what I had said to her. Flabbergasted could not have described me. Bowled over and flattened to the ground, maybe. LG is one of the hardest women on the street. To have her actually ask me for counsel and then listen and said that she would do what I had counseled showed me that it is not in vain. None of this is in vain. More than a year of building relationships out there on the streets while well meaning people constantly ask us what is the means to the end, what is the objective of it all, how many have received Christ....it's not in vain. It is not about me, the team or Siembra. It's about God and how He is so faithful even when we keep rejecting Him. It's about Him breaking down defenses by His love and constantly loving despite. For me, it was a giant step that LG would ask to talk to me, let alone listen to what I had to say. But for God, it was just a millimetre. Thank you God because you are so much bigger than I can possibly imagine. 


I am a product of many people praying me back into the Lord's embrace. So many were steadfast in praying for me. Prayer works. The prayer of the righteous man (woman) avails much, the bible says. We as a team will not stop praying for the ones on the streets and we're asking you to please not stop praying for them either. They need you. 

Diamonds in the Rough....

Well, one prayer of mine got answered today. Carlos showed up after a super long absence. Almost couldn't recognize him, he is older but unfortunately not wiser. He still does drugs, just not terokal and hangs out in Chorrillos now. Some people somehow find their way into your heart without you knowing how they did it and Carlos is one of those people for me. One of the very first and I wish I had more resources then to help him when he needed it. I wonder if it would have made a difference. He is more nonchalant now, but he still recognized me. Not the same tenderhearted youth as before. I feel that I have failed him. This is one of the times I truly want to turn back the clock, knowing what I know now and how I can help him...should he want to be helped. But I can't look back. I can only look forward and trust that the Lord will and can redeem that which seems to be lost.


The women were more responsive today. We see them regularly and that makes a difference. It's harder to sow into the guys as they're more transient but with the women, we are seeing a difference. In the way they treat us and react to us, in the way they relate to us now. They are realizing that we are there to help them. VY opened up more today and talked about herself. There has been raids there every night and several of the women were arrested and taken to the police station tonight. They will be released after 3 hours but would be fingerprinted and all. VY was afraid of the raids but FR was petrified. We got to talk to VY more and she asked the Lord into her life today. FR was skittish, bolting every time she saw a cop car. I felt to pray for peace and for her to be filled with the Holy Spirit so that she wouldn't fear. I asked her if she had asked the Lord into her life. She said no. Then I asked if she wanted to invite Him into her life and be her Lord and best friend. She said yes. So we prayed. 


I am trusting the Lord to work in them and that is hard to do because I want them to right aways grow up in the faith and that takes time. One step at a time. I have to remember that Jesus loves those out there on the streets more than I do and we have to let them go into Him. I know nothing about FA except that she is probably under scrutiny. Her phone is turned off and I can't get a hold of her. P said she hasn't been around the area for days now but she doesn't know anything about her. 


I can only pray for FA and trust that God loves her way more than I do.

Her name is.....

One of the women who work the streets had called me last Thursday night in a panic because her family and neighbourhood had realized that she was working the streets and were calling her names and saying horrible stuff about her. I told her we would meet the next day, her and me. She agreed to call me but she didn't and I called her but she didn't answer the phone. I left a text message for her telling her I was praying for her and to let me know how she was. She never replied. 


Today I got a call from a man asking if I knew her. I said she is a friend. He was brusque and rather rude and I told him I counselled her and he wanted to know what I counselled her in. I told him as little as I could without giving her away. But I realized then why she never called me back. She couldn't because she is being scrutinized and I don't know how she is but I know she needs lots of prayer and she needs to know Jesus. But I am also concerned about how she is being treated by her family and neighbours and I'm praying for God's protection on her. 


Please pray hard for her. Call her FA.

So Vital

I don't know how many who read this blog realize that there is a page for this ministry on Facebook which constantly gets updated as things happen. It is called Siembra S.O.W. and is in English and Spanish. Look it up and if you would like to support us in prayer or know of anyone who has a heart to be a part of this ministry, please click the "Like" button and you will get updates regularly through your newsfeed on Facebook.


Prayer. So needed, so vital. An absolute necessity and life force. We at Siembra S.O.W. need it desperately for the ones we minister to. So many times, it has been so close with someone getting out of the vice they're in, then it's back to nothing again. Satan won't let go of them and they don't know anything better than to fall back into his trap. But prayer works. Prayer works miracles, continuous intercessory prayer can and will move mountains and make them into plains. We can't do this alone. We need you. We need you to pray alongside us so that the ones you read about in this blog will not be just mere names here but will be huge testimonies of what the Lord is all about: turning the impossible into the possible; bringing to life that which is dead. In short, miracles. 


Some may think that it should be enough that we as a team pray on our own and we shouldn't ask other people to pray alongside us as it shows a lack of faith. I don't care if you think I lack faith, that we lack faith. I don't care what you think of me. It is not about me. But I care what happens to the people you read about in this blog. I want them to be freed from satan's lies and traps set out to destroy their lives. I care about them to want them to live. I need you to pray for them. I need you to call out to the Lord fervently to save them because they need you to do that for them. And the bible says that the effective prayer of the righteous man (woman) can accomplish much ( James 5:16 NASB). 


So many have already given up on them in their lives; their parents, spouses, children, the society as a whole and even themselves. But we who know that what seems impossible to men is possible to God and if we pray and intercede for them, I believe God can flatten mountains to become plains, He can make a way where there is no way, He can make straight the crooked path, He can call forth that which is not as though it is and He can make that which is dead alive again. Do you believe? Will you believe? 


Will you intercede for these ones? They're not pretty to look at. They smell. They are rude and they lie. But Jesus died for them just as He did for you and me. They need you to care for them enough to pray for them. And if you don't know how to start praying for them, ask the Lord to put what is in His heart in yours to pray for them. I believe that you might start out thinking that you're blessing them but at the end of it all, you will see that you are the one who got blessed. 


God bless you and may His face shine upon you that you will know His goodness in the land of the living.

Despite.......

It's been a great summer. Still is a great summer. Thank God. Really warm, no rain (but then we are in Lima and it never rains), absolute beach weather. Jose Luis called today to ask for "help" for a friend of his who was supposedly stuck at a beach town somewhere and needed bus fare back into Lima. I told him to tell his friend to work and save his money to return, we don't help out with straight cash. I heard laughter in the background when he asked for bus fare. They think I am easy pickings. As we talked on, it turned out the "friend" was Jose Luis himself as he got caught in his own lie. Asked him how his hand was. He said it wasn't half bad. Which means he has probably taken off the cast and all. At times like this, I want to smack him upside the head really really bad. But then, I have to just keep praying for him and trust God to knock some sense into him. And keep loving him. And pray that his hand will heal well despite.....


Despite all.......God really loves us a lot, doesn't He? I can't believe how much baloney He has to put up with in us as human beings. I have a hard time with the people I deal with, how does God do it with the whole world and love them all unconditionally? I struggle to love people and I really, really want to hit them hard sometimes. Really hard, like punch them out. Honestly, most of the time it's not love that stops me from hitting them, it's the law.  I am not about  to go to jail just because someone is being an idiot and I have to hit them. Yup, that's me. I struggle to love and so I am in constant awe that God loves us the way He does, despite ourselves and our idiotic ways. 


I do have to say that it is not because I am a martyr that I do what I do with the team out on the streets. It has to do with the calling the Lord put in me to work with them and some supernatural love for them. Because I truly love doing what I do despite everything. I love being out there. I love talking to them. I love that they are ok when I see them. I wonder about them when I don't see them. I do love them in my small, human way only because He put His love for them in me. 


Herman really tugged at my heart tonight. A forlorn, humpback figure, he walked right into the middle of traffic without a care for his own life to cross the street. He was drunk. It was a miracle he didn't get hit but to me, his physical state reflected his inner state. He's 37. He didn't care at that point if he lived or died. He has a mom and siblings who do care for him but had lost his spouse and son because of his drinking. His dad had died a drunk. He had called me last week but I had no idea it was him and couldn't understand him on the phone but he had called to see if we could go to his family home to speak to him the way we did on the street. I asked him to call me again when he wasn't drunk so we could meet up with him to talk more. He agreed. We asked to pray for him, he allowed us to and as we prayed I really felt that he truly knew he was trapped in a prison of his own making and didn't know how to get out. There was a lot of pain in him, not just in his heart but probably from his back that is disfigured. I was just glad we got a chance to talk to him tonight and I hope that he will call because I forgot to pray for healing for his back.


The women of the streets have loosened up more with us now. They might not trust us with everything and they might lie but they are less guarded with us now. While we were talking with two of the women, the police came by in a truck and it was a good thing we have our Siembra S.O.W. T-shirts now so they believed us for who we are but the cops still didn't want the women there, so they left. Jorge and I kept going to look for the other women and found two others whom we got to talk to. One talked about her past church experience and then started mocking it but the other said she wanted to go with us to church. I told her to call to let me know. 


There wasn't a whole lot of them out there tonight. Perhaps the guys had gone to the beach towns to look for easy pickings and that was why Jose Luis was there with friends. Perhaps the women weren't all there tonight because the cops were patrolling the area or perhaps they knew we would be there and would be bad for business. Who knows. But God led us to the ones He wanted us to speak to. And so we keep sowing, hence our name "Siembra" and God has to do the rest and someday Mark 4:31-32 will become a reality. The least of the least will become a shelter for many. It could be one of the many Luis', it could be Herman, it could be Oscar, Anderson, Henry, Gisela, Flor, Carolina, Vicky, Paola, Karina......it could be any one of them or all of them. 


Because God loves us despite ourselves, despite what we have done. He receives us as we are, makes us clean and then raises us up. Despite ourselves. Thankfully He doesn't punch us out. This is Grace.

An Answered Prayer and New Revelations

I had been praying for a while to see Luis again. Luis, the kid who had accepted the Lord and who had known nothing about Him before. The kid who had had an argument with water and hadn't met with it for a long period of time as could be attested to how he had smelled and looked the first time we had met him. The kid whom Jorge had donated clothes to and whom we had celebrated his birthday by taking him out for lunch. The kid whom I thought was darker than he was. The kid who had told us that he had quit smoking terokal when we had met him for lunch. That Luis. Who disappeared after we saw him last and after I took a picture with him. So, I had been praying to see him again because I want to know how he is, if he had indeed left terokal or had fallen back into it. 

I didn't recognize him. Jorge thought it might have been him and it was only because there was a mole on his forehead that he took a chance by calling out his name. He turned around and I still couldn't recognize him. The Luis I had talked to before was really  dark. This kid had really light skin. But it was him. And he was pleased to see us and started telling us all that had happened to him since we saw him last. He had quit smoking terokal. He found a job working at a flour factory in San Luis. He was back with the mother of his 3 year old daughter. He was joyous and couldn't stop talking. He wanted us to meet his family to know them and I now have the cell phone number of his live in girlfriend, Stefany. He truly looked good. Clean, as could be seen in how drastically his skin had changed colour. I have some doubts about him being entirely clean from smoking terokal but I will believe him because the Lord will reveal what needs to be revealed in His time and for His glory. We agreed to meet this Sunday for church with his family. I will call to confirm with Stefany. You have no idea how glad I was to see him. It was a really good feeling. 


The time we had with the street women last night revealed that it is not in vain going out to them even though sometimes it feels like it is because with the women, there is a barrier which they keep up to prevent us from getting any closer. However, last night, one of the women, Paola, took me aside and started telling me what was bothering her and shared some things with me and I was able to go deeper with her than I had been able to before. And likewise with Karina who was talking to Jorge and then later to me. Last night I had a revelation about the street women. None of them want to receive the Lord in their lives even as a free gift because they know that He will convict them to leave the street and with it the money that they earn. They believe that that is the best they can do. That there is nothing better for them that can help them earn that kind of cash. And so, they won't choose to receive the Lord because they don't realize that the small pebble they are holding so tightly to in their hands is preventing them from opening up their hands to receive the true blessing that the Lord wants to give them. They don't see the slavery they're in. I also realized that they smoke terokal not as addicts but rather as a means to numb the pain and shame they feel.  We have insight into what the barriers are that prevent them from coming out of the darkness. We now need  wisdom from the Lord on how to overcome that. 


Your prayers are desperately needed. 

He Takes Care Of Sparrows

I have learned to trust Him. I can only trust Him. I believe His Word and that is what I stand on. I cannot do anything else. His Word says that He takes care of the sparrows, that He clothes the lilies in the field, that if we ask for bread He will not give us a stone. His Word says that He loves us more than we can imagine and that nothing can separate us from that love. His Word never returns void. I believe His Word. I believe that He is the God who makes all things possible. I believe that He is God Almighty. I believe in the depth of His love for us. And so I will trust. 


I will trust Jose Luis to Him. I will release Jose Luis to Him and believe that His Word never returns void. I will believe that his heart of stone will change into a heart of flesh. I believe because my God never lies. The Centre called today to let me know that Jose Luis wanted to leave today. Luchin and I were supposed to go two days ago to take him to get his wrist looked at again but neither of us felt a peace to take him out of the Centre.  I called the Centre to ask them what they thought of it and they said that we needed the Pastor's consent to take him out and we tried calling the Pastor but he didn't answer. So we left it at that. The Centre is voluntary, so if any one wants to leave, they can just walk out. Jose Luis talked to me on the phone and said he had lied to me and he has an uncle whose home he could go to, etc. I know he is craving the drugs and he is desperate for them. Even if he has an uncle whose home he can go to, I doubt he is heading there.  He doesn't care where he can stay at or if he has anywhere to stay. He just wants the drugs. 


I can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Jesus doesn't do that, so how can I? Even though every fibre of my being wanted to lock Jose Luis up behind locked doors so he won't hurt himself again. But I can't. I had to release him. I had to tell the Centre it was ok to let him go if that's what he wants to do. It hurt so much. All I could do was tell Jose Luis that I don't hold any resentment towards him and no matter what, that we care a lot about him and I want him to know that,  that we want to know about him, about how he's doing, that he's not in the prison at Lurigancho or dead in a gutter. I told him he could call me again and we would still go and help him if he needed help. He asked when we go out to Ciudad. I told him. And then told him to take care of himself and blessed him.


The Word has been sown in him. It never returns void. Nothing was by chance from the time he called to now and beyond. The Lord loves Jose Luis more than I ever can and I have to trust that He will look after him as He does the sparrows in the air and the lilies of the fields. All I can do is keep loving him and pray for him. 


I have to trust that the Lord will never abandon him. I know that. Yet I want to go out there and drag him back into the Centre and put him in a place where he's safe. I want him and the others out there like him to live so badly. I don't want them to die or live half lives. I want them to know what it's like to really and truly live.