Burnout

I need a break. I've been feeling it in my body and knowing that I need a break from doing ministry, from counseling, from helping people in general. This might sound really bad but I need this time to rest up and to just stop immersing myself in the culture and start to do things that people might perhaps think that I shouldn't because I'm indulging myself, but I know I need to. Because I feel as if I'm losing my sanity. And I need to rest up before I move to another country and do more ministry. 

I just read up on missionary burnout and I'm seeing myself in it, so this will be my last post about ministry in this country of Peru.

I am going to take a break. I'm going to just be living and enjoying life and just rest up without feeling the weight of obligation or responsibility upon my shoulders for this short time until we move in March/April. 

I know I can write without guilt that I have done all I can while I was here. Spoken what I had to say. Shared the Word, taught the Word, counseled, gave materially and done what I sensed God tell me to do to show His love. But I am not their Saviour and only God can work in their hearts if they let Him. 

I know I gave 99% of me. Perhaps others could have given more, but it was my 99%.

And now, if you will excuse me, I will rest. I must rest. I will give myself permission to rest. 

I can still be found on my personal blog, just click on the button, "Adeline's Blog" on the right hand side of this blog and it will take you there. 

Till later,

Adeline

Free Will

 Throughout the course of our living here in this area of Lima, I've spoken to, counseled and shared Jesus with 2 girls at the park where we take our dogs. You read about one of them in my last blog entry. She decided to choose death. 

Since then, I've been going over and over in my head what I had actually shared with her when I met her, checking to see if it had been sufficient, if I had shared Jesus with her or not. Suicide is so selfish and its ripples go really far. It affected me and I had met her only once and it made me wonder if I was at fault for not doing enough. 

But I know I did what I could at that time and a little after. I'm learning that I can lead a person to the living waters of Jesus but it is up to them to want to drink from it. 

Free will.

This story is about the 2nd girl. She asked Jesus into her life the very first meeting at the park. I text  messaged her at Christmas and exchanged greetings but then never heard from her until a week ago. The first time, she had been really depressed and had asked God to send someone or an angel to talk to her. Guess who God sent. She was so in awe that God answered her prayer literally. But even though she received Jesus into her life that night, she wasn't ready to be discipled or go to church.

The second time around, she cried out to God to bring someone to talk to her to counsel her in doing things the right way. God is so funny. He coordinated that night for me and hubby to walk the dogs super late to meet up with her as she was entering the park. We talked for an hour while poor hubby and the dogs sat around, hungry. She wanted to meet  me again and I told her I would bring her a bible. 

Yesterday, we met and I started teaching her key verses from the bible about her identity and what Jesus had done for her and basically, at the end of it, I very directly said that she knows what some of the promises of God says about her and it depended on her what she does with the information. It could sit in her mind and never be used or she could believe it in her heart and walk in it. She decided to go to church with us tonight.

Her verdict after church tonight? "This is not like a Catholic church at all! It's like one big concert!" She decided she wants to go again. She's planning to go tomorrow night for the young adults meeting and I will meet her again next Tuesday at the park.

One chose death. The other chooses life. 

We all have a choice. 

AG, You Were Loved So Very Much

Today was a hard day for Luis and I. We got a call a few days ago from a mom whose daughter I had met in a park close to our home last April/May. The girl was sitting on a park bench and as I walked near her, the Lord kept telling me to talk to her. I was walking one of the dogs and as I kept walking our dog back and forth while checking with the Lord to see if He had indeed told me to talk to her, I heard a definite confirmation. So, I went and asked if I could sit next to her. She said yes and as I sat down next to her, I asked her if she was okay. 

She told me her story. It was the usual for a young girl; boyfriend problems. She was 20 and she had been going out with a guy who didn't value her and didn't treat her like she should be treated. So, she had broken up with him. But now, she desperately wanted to get back together with him but wasn't sure if she should because she wasn't sure if he would treat her like he did before and in the meantime, he was calling her to get back together. 

I told her that she was created by God for a purpose and that she had a lot of value by God's standards and didn't need to allow anyone to treat her less than how much God valued her. I told her about how Jesus gave her value through what He did for her on the cross. That was the gist of our conversation but it was longer than that; she talked, I listened, etc. We exchanged phone numbers and I told her she could call me anytime to talk. She was studying at the culinary institute right by the park and it would not be difficult to meet. 

For a little while we texted back and forth and then one day, I asked how things were and got the cold shoulder. I figured she was back with her boyfriend and didn't want me to say anything, so I backed off and never called her again. 

Then, one day last week, I got a call from her mom on my cell phone. She told us that her daughter had passed on and that she wanted to talk to me. We agreed to meet. 

We met today; her parents and Luis and I. 

They told me that on the 23rd of December, she had left the house after receiving a call and then  returned around 7pm. She declined to eat dinner with her family and said she wanted to go rest. Her dad went up to check on her later and there was no answer. He broke the door down and found her dead. They needed answers as to what her motives were. They thought that she might have gone to meet me that afternoon and had spoken to me and I might have known something.  

I told them how we had met, in what I had counseled her and that after a few text messages, had no more contact with her. They told us that all had been well with her and the boyfriend lately and that there was no reason at all as to why she had done what she did.

We asked specific questions and God was so awesome in giving us words of knowledge and wisdom and some issues from the past surfaced that they had not seen before. It didn't change what had happened, but it gave them some peace and closure. God also led us to counsel them to not blame themselves for what had happened and to allow themselves to grieve and not try to be strong and hold it all in. We told them they could call anytime to talk if they wanted to and we would listen. 

What the enemy intends for evil, God will turn around for good. Luis and I are praying that through this tragedy, the parents will give their lives to Jesus and come to know Him in a real and tangible way. We are praying that if the Lord wills, another opportunity to listen to them will open up and along with that, the opportunity to share Jesus with them. 

Please pray with us on that. 

The girl was 20. She had a bright future ahead of her. She was loved but she could not believe that she was worthy. She died believing in a lie. 

If you are reading this and you are thinking that you have no worth, that because of something that happened to you, you cannot ever move on or be loved, please know that that is a lie from the enemy who wants to destroy you. If you think your problems are too much for you to bear and that death is the only way out, please know that the enemy wants to kill you. You have much worth and you were created for a purpose by God who loves you with an immense love. He has a future for you and because of that, He sent His Son, Jesus to die on the cross for you and to take upon Himself all of the things you have done wrong and all of your sickness. He died and rose again to give you and abundant life and to make you whole. He died so you can live. You don't have to carry your pain, hurts and wounds on your own shoulders anymore. Jesus wants to take it from you so that you can go forward towards the future and purpose that He has for you. He has given you life. Not death. 

Will you choose Jesus and life today? 
If you will, then say the prayer below in your own words or as is written, but mean it from your heart. He can only change us if we give Him permission to.

Prayer
Lord Jesus, I know that you are the Son of God and I know that I have done things that did not please you. I ask you to please forgive me for all that I have done against you. I give you my life and invite you into my heart as my Lord and Saviour. I choose to follow you and I ask you to please heal my body and my heart of sickness and hurts so that I can be made whole to receive, live and enjoy the life that you have given me through your death and resurrection. Thank you Jesus for all that you did for me. In your name, I pray, amen.

If you had prayed this prayer, please write me a comment below.

 I would love to hear from you. 

Transition

We are in transition. The ministry and us. We have known for a while that the Lord was sending us out of Peru. We just didn't know exactly when. Or where. So we left it to the Lord to reveal it to us in His time and continued to work in the ministry. Then the Lord narrowed the time down to early this year, 2013. We kept praying about the where and kept working in the ministry. 

Eventually, the Dominican Republic kept getting highlighted. And the town of Sosua. Apart from the fact that Sosua was originally settled by Jews and even has a Messianic Congregation, Sosua is also known for something else. It is the 4th ranked place in the world for prostitution tourism. 

We kept checking into it to see how we could be of use there and we found a ministry that works specifically with exploited peoples there, namely children and prostitutes through schools, churches and other means. We wrote to them and laid it at the Lord's feet. He would open the doors if this was what He wanted us to do and where He wanted us to go. We received a reply from the organization and wrote back. Soon, we were corresponding with the director of this ministry. Our future roles with this organization will be as program manager for the women's ministry and program manager for the community (walking alongside the pastors of the community who are being helped by this organization to reach their communities).

To make a long story short, we are now in the process of getting a residential visa for the DR and this consist of harrowing and endless running back and forth from one end of this city to the other. The Lord has been dealing with how I react to all of this and I am truly learning to let it slide, let it slide and look for the things around me that make me smile. It is not easy. Our projected time for moving to the DR is March, 2013. As of yet, depending on how quickly we can get the visa, we are unable to pinpoint an exact date. 

Siembra S.O.W. will be handed over to Carmen, our team member and we are in the process of praying and looking for either a church, missionaries or people with the same heart for this ministry to walk with her. All of the people we had been discipling are going to church and continue to walk with the Lord. We continue to go down to the streets and talk to the women (we had been unable to find the guys for a long time) and pray that those who have received the Lord will now want to get out, start to walk in Him and seek a future for themselves. Those who want to leave the streets will now be discipled by Carmen. This fullfils the vision of handing over the ministry to a local to continue with it. I have always believed that as a missionary, my job is not to take over but to raise up, teach and then step back to let the locals lead their own people.

I keep in contact with the women in the prison through Dalila, a servant of Christ who serves the women by teaching them bible study and by scanning their letters and emailing it to their friends and family. In this way, I am able to connect with the women, no matter where I am. Even through a lot of hardship, they have thrived. The ones I had been concerned about have thrived under adversity. It always amazes me that when Christians come under persecution, they thrive more and grow deeper. So it has been with the three women; Birgitte, Bose and Rosana. They have been holding their own time of bible study and worship when no groups were allowed in to hold formal bible studies and worship. I am not sure if formal bible studies are in place yet in this new prison that they're in but they're getting the Word from Dalila and also amongst themselves. 

I will continue to write this blog for Siembra S.O.W. until we leave and God willing, will continue writing a different blog about what God is doing with us and through us in the Dominican Republic. And as I receive information from Carmen, I will also update the Siembra S.O.W. blog. 

Prayers are coveted for the area of:

•  our paperwork, for God's favour upon it; 
• provision for our move and for when we are in the DR; 
• a house there that fits our needs and budget;
•  someone to help Carmen with the ministry here as well as all those whom you have been praying for in this blog. 
• provision for Siembra S.O.W.

God bless. 

A Recap of 2012

As 2012 comes to a close, I reflect on all that has happened this year and give thanks to the Lord of Harvest. For this ministry, it has been a year of harvest, of seeing God's hand in everything, of seeing the purpose of what He has called us to do. 

This ministry has never been easy, it's a ministry that needs a lot of patience, love and persistence. Looking back, I am awed by the faithfulness of my God. He taught me what it meant to plant a seed and to be patient while I kept watering it. How many times, like a curious impatient child did I want to dig beneath the earth just to see what was happening with the seed that was planted. How many times did I wonder if it was even alive, let alone, growing. And then,  in His timing, things started to happen. 

I must say that He broke all of my plans. Every one of them. He told me what He wanted me to do and I did it, but impatient daughter that I am, I started planning ahead and beyond what He had said to do in my own logic and that of this society's. I started thinking along the lines of what others have done, what is logical to do based on what this culture expected. God smashed them to pieces and shut several doors. I was left with the unorthodox and doing what others had not done before. We were also doing this alone with a couple of other people because most churches would not touch this type of ministry with a 20 foot pole. 

Our van became an office to disciple and counsel. As did other local cafes and we quickly found that all the places we had "accidentally" chosen were run by believers. So, not only were we doing ministry but also helping out their businesses. Unplanned bible studies sprouted in homes of the people we counseled. We even used playgrounds and parks. God showed us that we are the church, not any building and that ministry happens wherever and whenever. And we could still share and teach the Word even if we are sitting next to a rather huge pitbull like dog on a couch.

We saw how God worked and moved in hearts that were so hardened and hurt to transform them into flesh so that they could love again. Friendships were forged with people we never would have thought we would ever come to meet, let alone know. Trust was build. And people came to know the Lord and started living. 

I look back at 2012 and I am grateful. So grateful for this chance to have done what we have been able to do. So grateful because we have been so privileged to do all this on such a grassroots level. So grateful because He showed us His hand and how marvellous He is. So grateful for the lives who came to Him. So grateful for the people who walked with us in this ministry. The seed that was planted did take root and sprout leaves. Like the verse God gave me for this ministry, Mark 4:31,32 , God willing, it will grow to be a large tree to give shelter to many one day. 

This ministry is beyond us. It's not about us. The seed that has been planted will keep growing whether we are still here or not. It is all about Him. We do what He asks, and He will be faithful to accomplish that which He has said He will do. 

2012 has been extraordinary. 

One Woman

We received a call from JP's mom today after a long while. She had moved along with her husband and three younger children to a piece of  property that they had bought which is a testimony all by itself. Her moving there  became the excuse for two of her sons to return to their past vices on the streets, JP being one of them. This happened about 2 months back. 

If every person who decided to follow Jesus trusted Him and held onto Him like this woman does, this world would be transformed in an instant. She met Jesus at the lowest point in her life; the relationship between her husband and her was colder than icebergs in the Arctic Ocean; her kids except the youngest were rude and disobedient; her three oldest sons had been in drugs, with two of them still on drugs and she was at her wits end. She didn't know how to deal with it and the only way she knew how was to yell and nag which didn't help any. She had been at the point of walking away from all of them to start a new life for herself. Then she gave her life to Jesus. 

And something beautiful began. Her heart of stone started to become a heart of flesh. She started to react differently and stepped into her authority as a parent over her children. She went to church and gave herself completely over to Jesus and really trusted and held onto HIm with all she had. She learned that the bible says that Jesus is her husband so she took Him at His Word. She learned that the bible says that God is her father who will never fail her. She took Him at His Word. She learned to forgive past hurts and ask for forgiveness. She cultivated her relationship with Jesus daily and it grew and blossomed. And her faith in Him deepened.

Her greatest dream right now is to see her entire family worship the Lord together. She stands on Acts 16:31"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved AND your house". All her house in 6 short months have come to know the Lord except her husband. And her younger sons have changed. They're polite and obedient. Her husband has changed his attitude towards her and now seeks her out to share his day and to spend time with her. She told him that her dream is to see them all go to church and worship the Lord together. He told her that it won't be long before that dream comes true. And three days ago, JP returned home from living out on the streets. 

One woman. Holding onto God with all she had, believing that what He says is true because the alternative is not an option. One woman. Believing in her identity as a daughter of the Most High God and walking out her Kingdom heritage. One woman. Changing the atmosphere around her because of her simple, childlike faith. One simple, ordinary woman walking hand in hand with her immensely extraordinary God to see the supernatural happen in the natural. 

I'm not making any of this up. My husband and I were and are still very privileged to walk with her and her family to see God's hand in all of this and how the faith of this woman is bringing a real change to her family. 

A heart fully surrendered to the Lord without fear is truly an amazing thing. 

Talking Nice

Sometimes we have to be hard to be kind. Sometimes we have to stop mollycoddling so that people can grow and start taking responsibility for themselves. Oftentimes we don't do that. We think we have to be all "Christian-like" and be all gooshy smooshy and let people do what they shouldn't do because we think that is showing them that we are Christlike. 

Sin kills. Sometimes we water down the part that says the wages of sin is death. Sometimes we want to gloss over it and pretend that it really doesn't kill. I see the result of that verse. The wages of sin is death and too many play with it, like a child plays with matches and lights them without weighing the consequences. Can we say then, that we are like children? Oblivious to the dangers? Some of us, perhaps. Not all. Many of us know that we flirt with death and we play the game of Russian Roulette thinking that it will not touch us. And when it does, it's too late. 

Whoa, you might say. Girl, you're supposed to talk NICE. You're supposed to be dishing out how everyone is valued and loved. What is all this talk about sin? Sin tells us we're doing something bad. I don't want to hear that. I want to hear the good parts. 

The good part is this: Dude, we're all going down cos we're all doing something bad (yes, that thing called sin!) and yes, we were all created with a purpose in our lives. But, we ain't gonna get to our purpose or accomplish it if we keep on going down the wrong road doing the wrong things. The good part is that we can all get cleaned. Our bad record can be erased from the archives of the CIA and FBI on high. How? We need to believe and receive the Lord Jesus Christ in our lives. 

Cool, I done that, you can say. But I still like my badness, I still like my crack. My coke. My friends do it, girl, I gotta hang with my homies, ya know. Yeah man, selling my body ain't that bad either cos it's easy and I get fast cash. So, you say, the wages of sin is death? It don't apply to me, girl. I got there Jesus man in my life now. 

Dude, there's something called C-O-N-S-Q-U-E-N-C-E-S. Jesus will keep cleaning you up, will keep forgiving you. But what you keep on doing, the badness, that thing called sin; that will bring consequences upon yourself. You can O.D. Guess what, that means you die. Or you get AIDS, or you get beaten to death by some pusher or john. 

You got Jesus in your life. That's a great decision. 

Now, turn from the sin. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Dude, you have to take the initiative. You have to stop sinning. And turn towards Jesus. Completely. Because, the wages of sin is death and you know what bro? 

The devil is out to rob, kill and destroy you and yours. And he will succeed because unless you turn away from sinning, you are giving him total access to do what he wants to do in your life.

If you die, you will never have accomplished your purpose. 

If you are constantly returning to prostitution or drugs, you will never accomplish your purpose. 

The wages of sin is death. 

Dude, I'm talking nice. Because I want you to choose life.