Looking Back To Look Forward

Ahhhh yes, the close of a year and the beginning of another. 2011 has been a year of many miracles in my own personal life and also in the life of Siembra S.O.W., the ministry the Lord has called me to start up here in Lima. This blog was started with the intention of it becoming a personal blog but, because my life is so intertwined with that of the ministry as well as the fact that I'm not Shakira or Kim Kardashian  whose lives are so full and interesting, it ended up becoming a ministry blog with splatters of my personal life sprinkled into it. 


Siembra started out the year thinking it was headed in one direction, and even though I felt uncomfortable with some of the projects we were going to embark on, I kept going instead of stopping to take stock and see if that was what the Lord truly wanted because it was already on the agenda. And despite all that I was doing, the Lord kept shutting doors. I had moved to Jose Galvez, this area on the southern outskirts of Lima which to me might as well have been the ends of the earth, to live in a house that was seemingly perfect for the ministry and myself. It was, at the beginning and God brought the first Siembra team together during this time. I was starting to feel that perhaps the area was not the best area for the type of ministry we were doing when we couldn't find any homeless drugged out youth. I believe I was the only person in all of Lima at this time constantly begging people if they knew where the street youth lived and hung out. Most people ran the other way, I wanted to run to them. People thought I was nuts. Helpful neighbours introduced us to drug addicted gang members but they had homes and jobs. Not the ones we were looking for. The Home Refuge part of the ministry never flourished despite the fact that the Lord kept downloading ideas on how to sustain a Home as well as to teach the youth practical ways on how to manage small businesses. Yet, everything except the street ministry was a flop. Later, as I prayed into it and surrendered the idea over to the Lord, I realized that He never asked me to do the Home Refuge. He asked me, however, to do a Drop In Centre. The idea of the Home Refuge was originally that of a friend and I had taken on that idea believing it to be the logical way to do things as things are done here. At this point, things started to close drastically in terms of having a home refuge for street youth. The house became a hazard when water started pouring in through electrical outlets and the main box during the rainy season. The landlords started becoming odder. I made the decision to leave the house and felt like a total failure. The saving grace for me was that the street ministry was going well. 


I learned many things, however, when I lived in Jose Galvez. I learned how to use praise as a weapon against stuff that made the hair rose on the back of my neck at nights in the house. I learned how to not be afraid because the Word was in me and it came out through me as a promise for me and a weapon against the enemy. I learned that if God is for me, no one can come against me. I also made good friends with the people around me and saw what community was all about. The day I left for good, the lady across from the house who runs the little store received Jesus into her heart. My being in Jose Galvez was not in vain. God had used me to sow the Word there even though my original intention of being there never materialized. I knew in my spirit that the Lord wanted a drop in centre in Ciudad itself but with the failure of the Home Refuge fresh in my mind, I was reluctant to jump into it. That was 6 months ago. 


Today, I know the Drop In Centre is an idea from God. Confirmations come when I see the need for discipling and a quiet place to sit with the guys or women to listen to them; when they ask me where there is a place that they can come to talk to us; when I watch a movie that I know will touch their hearts and I have no place to be able to play it or to have a place to hold events or workshops for them. I have submitted my plans to my lawyer so he can draft up a good write up to present to the mayor of the district so that the Municipality will know what we are about. Yet, there is a voice in me that goes, "What if, you rent a place, put in money and time and no one comes? Isn't that a waste of money?" And then I also hear, "Obey me and you will see what I will do. Your job is just to obey me." So, I push on and up because I know whose voice I will listen to and obey. I have made mistakes but I will not let those mistakes keep me oppressed to the ground. I will push on and push up and keep going and rise up so that I can keep running the race that is set before me. I will trust that the Lord will lead me and keep shutting doors and opening doors that need to be opened and shut. It has been 6 months and I keep checking to see if He truly wants a Drop In Centre and the sense I get is that it is needed and so step by step I will take with the Lord holding my hand. He leads and I follow. 

So as one door shuts, I look forward to other open doors and windows for the year to come. We've seen guys come to the Lord, kick their habits because they want to, heard women say they need to change their lives when they thought we weren't listening, guys out of the blue telling us they want to change and accept the Lord. Sometimes, we take one step forward in victory and it seems like two steps back after. But all I know is that we are just to obey the Lord and follow His plans and designs for these diamonds in the rough. The Lord will touch the hearts of those He came to die for. I can't wait for the day when I will see them rise above their addictions to finish school, have a job and serve the Lord with all their hearts, minds and strength.