It's all about You, Jesus, Not about me...

I started out tonight really discouraged and once again wondering if it was worth it at all. None of the team could make it and it was just me and Luchin for which I was grateful because sometimes he has other commitments and can't come out with us. If I hadn't already made the sandwiches, I would have probably decided to stay home instead. But then, I am not a quitter and dang if I was gonna let the devil win by staying at home so I disregarded how I felt and just went anyways. Because, as I told the Lord on the way there, it ain't about me and how I feel. This is His ministry and I'm just gonna be there and it's up to Him to work it and bring the people. I will keep showing up but He has to give me the strategies and bring the people and workers. So there!


Well, the first person we saw was HN who went to great lengths to avoid us. Funny how when they get confronted by Jesus they either fall on their knees when convicted or they turn hard and run the other way. Luchin and I kept walking. Herman avoided us like the plague. Sigh. And you wonder why I get discouraged. Oh well, it ain't about me. We didn't see any of the guys we knew. But in a busy street corner amidst all the food stalls, there on the ground huddled a solitary being. We hadn't met him before. His name is Jav and he is 14 and already has lived on the streets for 3 years. He told us he was taken from Huaraz which is a town outside of Lima by someone to work for them and then it was garbled from there on. He said he wanted to see his mom. I told him we could help him see his mom again as we could find out from the police stations here and in Huaraz. He didn't want to go to a police station. I asked if it was because he steals. He nodded. I told him we could find ways and asked for his mom's name. He said he forgot. I told him we would help any way we can except give out cash. When he heard that, he lost interest. We prayed with him and then left and before we left, he thanked us for talking to him. Well, that was nice. No one thanks us for speaking to them. 


VA was in her corner when we got to the girls. God gave me a word for her and part of it was that she knew Him from before. She confirmed that she did accept the Lord before but her pastor said she had to leave her job as a prostitute. VA's argument was that she had no other work and how would she support herself since there was something wrong with her spine. I asked her point blank if she wanted to get healed. She went on with the excuses. A John 5 classic. I told her that Jesus wants to heal her back but does she want to be healed. She looked at me. I told her that she was afraid of saying yes because if she did, that would take away her excuse for not looking for a real job. When confronted with that, she couldn't deny it. So she said yes, she wanted to be healed. So we prayed over her back and prophesied over her and Luchin told her that as a princess of the Kingdom of the Lord, she should not mess about with garbage and things that princesses don't even touch. She needed to change her perspective of herself to want to receive the best from God. She got mad and indirectly told us to leave. Yup, and one wonders why we get discouraged. Sigh.


We had given EM the bible we had promised her when we got to the street with the working girls and while we were leaving, she came to me and asked for a bible for another girl, SJ. I asked SJ why she wanted the bible. She said she wanted to read it to change her life because she was tired of how her life was going. I shared the gospel with her. She accepted the Lord and we talked about God's measure of righteousness and ours and how we need to make decisions based on God's measure of righteousness not ours. And the only way to know God's measure of righteousness is through the bible. I asked if she wanted to know that and she said yes. I will bring her a bible and we will be in touch. This is why I do what I do. For that one person whoever it might be. 


I might get stomped on after I feel I've given and given and get discouraged. Yet for that one person whose life might truly get changed around by the Gospel, it is worth me getting stomped on. Jesus got stomped on, beaten, spat at, humiliated and killed just so that we might live and our lives may be transformed by Him dying on the cross and being resurrected. He would do it if it was just for one person. I say I follow Him. What does it matter if I get stomped on if my Lord took it all upon Himself and more just so I could live? What I give is nothing compared to what He gave. 


Discouragements and all aside, I take another step and keep going. It is what I am called to do.

Thank you.

There weren't many cops around and so the "choros" were in full swing. "Choro" is slang for thief. They always work in threes; two to hold the back doors of the buses open by pressing their weight against it, and one who runs through the bus looking for cell phones, electronic devices, money or anything of value to steal. When we first started hitting the streets, it was a regular thing to see people get robbed, beaten up, thrown onto the curb, etc. Then for about the last 6 months, we saw nothing. It was rather strange at first but then we realized it was because of the heightened presence of the cops on the street corners.  However, there were hardly any cops around last night and so it was a free for all. 


We saw HN first. Still semi intoxicated but not as much as before. He ran to get a friend to introduce him to us telling his friend that we were there to help. I appreciated that he knows we are there to help. Elizabeth talked to HN more and he told her how he almost died from alcohol poisoning once out on the streets and his brothers came to get him and took him to the hospital. He survived and ever since then he realized that God hasn't forgotten him and his family cares about him. But the addiction is powerful and the hold on him drew him back to the streets. He told Elizabeth that we are a reminder to him again that God hasn't forgotten him. And he wants to be better. Since he received the Lord a week ago, he has been cutting back on how much he drinks. We told him that Jesus can help him and the Word will transform how he thinks and we could get him to a rehab centre that will help him and also feed him the Word. He wasn't ready to commit to the rehab centre but he wanted to learn about Jesus. We agreed for me to meet him one afternoon to teach him. Luchin and I will look for him tomorrow afternoon.


We take them all at their word even though we know some are lying to us about wanting to change. We don't let on that we know they're lying. They think that by lying to us, we won't think less of them. They don't realize that we will keep loving them, because Jesus will keep loving them. Some do want to change really badly and we can see that in the desperation in their eyes as they hear hope. However, they have a hard time leaving the environment and the people they hang out with. For a lot of them, it's the only home they know and they have no where to go. For others, it's a fear of leaving the known for the unknown. We just walk with them, pray with them, teach them, counsel them and love them with the Truth until they are ready to go the next step. Then we walk with them step by step until they can walk on their own with Jesus.


Some of the women also indicate a desire to change. Their addiction is easy money and they have bought into the lie that they can't do anything else better to earn money. I loved how Carmen told two of the girls the truth so simply that they could not help but understand. She told them that every time they are with the men, they unite themselves with them and as they make themselves vulnerable before them to receive from them, they also receive whatever the men transmit to them  "spiritually" in whatever format (Carmen explained it way better than I) and KA looked about ready to die from cardiac arrest when she heard that. She was not there this week. I hope she's looking for and found a proper day job.


My challenge was "SY". "Stefany" and "CA" are transvestites. When we first started reaching out to the women, these two would look at us with pure hatred. The guys on our team are uncomfortable talking to them and try to avoid them and I did that at first as well. But, every time I walked past them, I would hear this voice saying, "Jesus died for them too. He hates what they do but He loves them" and so I would double back and go say hello to them. At first, they just ignored and hated me. Then, as I persisted in saying hi to them cheerily (yes, I can be annoying that way :D) and offering them sandwiches, they started returning my "hi's" with fake smiles. Eventually, they accepted the sandwiches. Then, one night we talked for a bit. And they asked if they went to my church, would they be accepted. I said yes because I knew that the team would and we would do all we could to make sure they felt comfortable. But I could not speak for other people. After that night, I didn't see them again. Until last night. "SY" and I talked and he told me that he can't get a day job because of how he looks and when I asked if he could not change how he looks in the day, he said this is who he is 24/7. He has no friends and his family doesn't want him. He lives alone in a rented room in which he spends his days. He works the streets at night. He asked me again last night if he would be accepted at the church I go to. I said I could only speak for myself and I would accept him but I couldn't speak for the other people. He nodded.


I don't agree with "SY's" lifestyle but I sense his pain and his deep loneliness. I know he chose to buy into the lie of the enemy telling him he is a woman when he is not but I also know that my Jesus will keep giving him opportunities to know Him and to know what real freedom is about when he knows the Truth that will set him free. I asked him a few personal questions and he answered them. The good thing is he has not had any surgical changes and I know he will be grateful for that when he gets to know Jesus. I told him I always tell the women that they can call me to meet for coffee and to chat and he said he would like that and smiled a genuine smile. I hope he calls because it really sucks feeling alone in this world.


We are still looking for a place to rent for a meeting place/drop in centre for them. Eventually, God willing, it will also become a street church which will be non traditional; a place where those we reach out to can come and know that they are accepted, loved and able to hear the Word of God in a way that they can understand. As with the "Stefanys" and Hermans out there, most of them will not be accepted into regular churches for the lifestyles that they lead. We hope to be able to bring church to them, in their setting, in a format that will penetrate through the fog and haze that clouds their minds through substance abuse.We have no idea when that will happen as of yet, just that it is a vision for the future. Your prayers and intercession for this project and also for all of those you read about are truly appreciated. Slight changes are taking place out there on the streets and they can only happen because of prayer.


So, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for praying. Thank you for caring. 

Wow.

I don't know how to start. Tonight felt like it was a turning point. It felt like a door flew open and everything that had held the door shut before was blown away. I guess you could say it was a breakthrough. 


Jorge was on fire tonight. We met up with LG, the one with chipped off teeth on the mandibular. I have to make mental notes to myself as I see them because with all the Luis's around and how they all look the same (even Carmen was amazed when 2 of the Luis' stood side by side, they looked so similar, it was scary), it gets hard to recognize them every time one shows up and I'm like, "so, what's your name?" and they're like "Luis, hermana" and I have to struggle to figure out which one they are. So, we offered Luis Gustavo (LG) a sandwich and then Jorge just opened up his New Testament and asked LG if he knew who Jesus was and what it meant to be born again. He had LG read the verses out loud. From that point on, something broke. Guys we knew just suddenly showed up and listened. HN showed up, JL showed up, AX showed up, some other ones we didn't know showed up. LG told us he had stopped smoking terokal but his problem is alcohol. He listened intently to the Words of Life as Jorge shared the gospel with him and HN and AX. I shared with JL who was listening but also treating it like a joke. LG turned around and in all seriousness told JL off for not taking what I was saying seriously. When we asked who wanted Jesus in their lives as Lord and Saviour, we had LG, HN and JL saying they did. LG stayed on and I had a New Testament bible with me that was written on cheap newsprint so I gave it to him and told him to treasure it and not mistreat it like toilet paper and he said he wouldn't and couldn't. He said he will call because he wants us to teach him and help him understand the bible. Wow.


We don't generally give out bibles on the streets because most bibles are printed on fine paper and fine paper is perfect for rolling and smoking weed (marijuana) with. I had started giving out printed verses on cardboard paper sold in the Christian bookstores called Promises of God so that they had some form of the Word of God with them in their pockets even if they don't have the bible. But this time I had bought these pocket NTs in cheap print and when there is a sincere need like with LG tonight, I trust that God will make sure His word isn't used for other stuff other than to edify and to give life.


After leaving LG we took the bus about 5 blocks to where the women are. Carmen spoke to EM along with Jorge and I spoke to KA. God orchestrated it all. They basically stayed where we were the whole time listening. EM is ready to get out. She just thinks she can't because she feels worthless. KA is afraid that if she receives Jesus she has to give up everything and she needs the money but she also knows she needs to get out but is also scared that she will be alone all her life if she doesn't return to her ex-boyfriend who treated her really badly because she feels that since he knows what she does and accepts it, he is the only one she could be with as no one else would accept her. I shared the testimony of a pastor's wife I know who used to be a drug addict and work the streets. But she chose to get out and chose Jesus and now she is married to a pastor with 3 kids and they pastor a church here as well as travel the world preaching. But it is only Jesus who could clean her up and give her a new life and opportunity. There is something so innocent and good about KA that even though she is doing what she's doing, the innocence and goodness of her heart shines through. I don't know how to explain it. The others are hardened, resentful but she's like a kid who shares what she feels. 


I don't know if this entry does justice to what we saw and felt tonight about how awesome God is. Please keep praying, please, please keep praying. I also post snippets of updates as they happen on the  Siembra S.O.W. page on Facebook. We also need prayer in finding a place to rent out there as a drop in centre and later, a church. So far, we have found nothing suitable. The one place that was perfect in price and size was later retracted by the landlord as he was afraid of the street youth. We will keep looking and your prayers are hugely appreciated for all of the ones on the street, for us to be on fire with the Word of the Lord and for a place to rent. 

One Giant Step For Me, One Tiny Millimetre For God

Tonight was bittersweet. We saw JL, the 20 year old we had taken to the rehab centre and who decided after 5 days he didn't want to stay there anymore. I asked him why he left and he said he had to wake up at 4am everyday and when he disobeyed he had to wash all the dishes. I told him I really wanted to smack him upside the head so bad. We met him at about 7:40pm and he had just woken up. The cast on his hand was off and he said his hand hurt still. I said no kidding, he had 2 fractures and now it's worse cos it probably has set incorrectly. He still smokes some and lives in the park beneath the bridge. We spoke words of life into him and also common sense, telling him we really care for him but we can't do anything if he doesn't want to change. Luchin and I prayed for him before we left and he didn't want us to leave but there was nothing we could do for him at this point but pray for him really hard. 


So many of us are classic JLs. I know I was. I chose to walk my own path for many years even when I knew God's love and grace. I chose to go homeless when God had His arms open to receive me. I thought I knew what was best for me, that I could control my own destiny. And all the while I was just existing in my own vortex of nothingness. Until I hit rock bottom. I didn't do drugs or drink myself into a stupor. On the contrary, I thought I was too smart for that and that was my problem. I thought I was too smart. Too smart to acknowledge that there is a God; even though I had had a taste of His goodness before. But He never let me go. There is nothing that can separate us from God's love and since He is love; there is nothing that can separate us from Him even when we are the ones who try to put up the barriers. So many people prayed for me all those years when I was lost in myself. I wouldn't be where I am now without their steadfast prayers. 


LG was my giant step tonight. She wanted to talk to me when we got to where the women were. It was about a legal matter that she was thinking of pursuing. While listening to her, I kept praying for wisdom and God responded. She listened when I counseled and then said she would withhold doing what she had thought to do because of what I had said to her. Flabbergasted could not have described me. Bowled over and flattened to the ground, maybe. LG is one of the hardest women on the street. To have her actually ask me for counsel and then listen and said that she would do what I had counseled showed me that it is not in vain. None of this is in vain. More than a year of building relationships out there on the streets while well meaning people constantly ask us what is the means to the end, what is the objective of it all, how many have received Christ....it's not in vain. It is not about me, the team or Siembra. It's about God and how He is so faithful even when we keep rejecting Him. It's about Him breaking down defenses by His love and constantly loving despite. For me, it was a giant step that LG would ask to talk to me, let alone listen to what I had to say. But for God, it was just a millimetre. Thank you God because you are so much bigger than I can possibly imagine. 


I am a product of many people praying me back into the Lord's embrace. So many were steadfast in praying for me. Prayer works. The prayer of the righteous man (woman) avails much, the bible says. We as a team will not stop praying for the ones on the streets and we're asking you to please not stop praying for them either. They need you. 

Diamonds in the Rough....

Well, one prayer of mine got answered today. Carlos showed up after a super long absence. Almost couldn't recognize him, he is older but unfortunately not wiser. He still does drugs, just not terokal and hangs out in Chorrillos now. Some people somehow find their way into your heart without you knowing how they did it and Carlos is one of those people for me. One of the very first and I wish I had more resources then to help him when he needed it. I wonder if it would have made a difference. He is more nonchalant now, but he still recognized me. Not the same tenderhearted youth as before. I feel that I have failed him. This is one of the times I truly want to turn back the clock, knowing what I know now and how I can help him...should he want to be helped. But I can't look back. I can only look forward and trust that the Lord will and can redeem that which seems to be lost.


The women were more responsive today. We see them regularly and that makes a difference. It's harder to sow into the guys as they're more transient but with the women, we are seeing a difference. In the way they treat us and react to us, in the way they relate to us now. They are realizing that we are there to help them. VY opened up more today and talked about herself. There has been raids there every night and several of the women were arrested and taken to the police station tonight. They will be released after 3 hours but would be fingerprinted and all. VY was afraid of the raids but FR was petrified. We got to talk to VY more and she asked the Lord into her life today. FR was skittish, bolting every time she saw a cop car. I felt to pray for peace and for her to be filled with the Holy Spirit so that she wouldn't fear. I asked her if she had asked the Lord into her life. She said no. Then I asked if she wanted to invite Him into her life and be her Lord and best friend. She said yes. So we prayed. 


I am trusting the Lord to work in them and that is hard to do because I want them to right aways grow up in the faith and that takes time. One step at a time. I have to remember that Jesus loves those out there on the streets more than I do and we have to let them go into Him. I know nothing about FA except that she is probably under scrutiny. Her phone is turned off and I can't get a hold of her. P said she hasn't been around the area for days now but she doesn't know anything about her. 


I can only pray for FA and trust that God loves her way more than I do.