A Word for 2011

I feel that Zechariah 4:6, 7 is key for the coming year. So many things we have done, but in our own knowledge. However, when we start to align ourselves to the Living God and walk in His Spirit and in Kingdom mentality, we are going to see things happen and doors open to us as never before. Aligning ourselves to the Living God does not come easy or cheap. It means spending time at the Father's feet, drinking deeply from His well and getting to know His heart for us. And that costs us our time and doing what we would normally do to fill our time. 


Learning to seek Him, to hear Him and just plain waiting. I know I have the hardest time waiting as I am a person who wants to get things done and in my own time and schedule, but with God, I have to always realize that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. Right now, my natural instinct is to do, to go out and evangelize, to fill the space I have here with people, to start a church, to gather people and do bible study with them. After all, that is what a missionary is supposed to do, isn't it? 


But yet, the voice of the Lord tells me to be still, to wait for His leading and to focus on one thing at a time and at this time it's to spend time in worship and intercession and to just keep looking for the abandoned street youth whom I can't seem to find. So I do that, even though in my naturalness, I want t go out there and do everything and get things done instead of sitting and waiting and plodding along. 


Not by power, not by might but by My Spirit says the Lord of Hosts, the Lord of the Army in Zechariah 4:6. So I wait on Him, on His timing, on how He wants things done and so I will rest in Him and walk by faith and not by sight. And while I am walking by faith, I will cherish the time I have now because I know when everything starts to happen, I will not have too much time to just sit and rest at His feet.


I am learning to enjoy Him in the present. And like Martha Stewart says, "It's a good thing."

Oh, The Irony of It All!

I have been musing and puzzling over this one irony in my head for the past couple of weeks. Apart from moving into this neighbourhood because I felt that God wanted us (the ministry/NGO) to be here, I had been told and still am told repeatedly that there is a need here in terms of the people I want to reach. So here I am amidst all the advice and warnings of every one in the world outside of Villa Maria del Triunfo, who feared that I was on a suicide mission, moving into an area of town known for its gangs and delinquency.

I moved here on the understanding that I was moving to a hood akin to the Bronx or Queens. My friend Carolina and I have been going out almost every weekend searching for them, but to no avail at this point in time. Who is the "them" that I am referring to? The abandoned street youth, the gangs. I can't find them. I can't find a one. My neighbourhood is quiet, the people have lived here for over 20 years and everyone knows everyone. And then there is me, searching for delinquents every weekend and coming up empty handed so far. How hard is it to actually find abandoned street youth or gangs??

Apparently not that easy. I must be the only insane person who actually  goes out every weekend looking for gangs or abandoned street youth on drugs. Like one of those crazy people who chase after tornados and hurricanes. And not finding any.

So back on my knees I go, seeking God and asking Him to lead me to them and them to me. There is a need that needs to be met but somehow, the two have to cross paths and dissect along the way. And that can only be the Lord's doing, not mine. So He has to bring us to them and them to us. That simple. And I have to stop worrying about being able to find them and keep interceding and praying for our paths to cross.

Oh, the irony of it all!

To Sing From The Depths of My Soul Because He Never Lets Go of Me

The last week has been an awesome time in my spiritual and prophetic growth here. I am realizing  how I can walk in Kingdom authority and receive the supernaturalness of God for what is in the here and now. I am learning from others who have walked as such, to be able to apply Kingdom truths to the situations here to walk in the victory we are supposed to walk in. For too long I have hidden who I am, put away the prophetic and supernaturalness of God in me because of not wanting to make waves or rock the boat because others whom I hang around do not wish to pursue that in the Lord. But then, a lion cannot pretend that it is a cat and neither can I pretend anymore that I am not prophetic and walk in Kingdom authority.


I have seen how High Praises and Worship can change and transform atmospheres in this last week, I have seen how God who honours our heart when it seeks hard after Him, will provide what and who we need at the time when we need them. He has given me precise Words to battle with, to claim His promises on, to stand firm on and to know without a shadow of a doubt that when He calls us to do what He wants us to do and we follow hard after Him, the blessings and the victory of the Kingdom cannot help but overtake us. These last two days of deep prophetic worship and intercession has done so much more for me than anything I could have ever done ministry wise. 


I am more in love with my Lord than ever. And it has nothing to do with the pagan celebration of Yule that is being celebrated this time of year. I do not celebrate Christmas as I do not believe that was the time when Yeshua was born but rather a pagan festival that the Roman Catholics have put in place to replace the pagan festival of Winter Solstice (Jeremiah 10:1-5). I am absolutely grateful for God sending His Son to earth as man incarnate but the time of His human birth would have been in October, not in December. But I will use whatever time and season of the year to worship my Lord wherever I am and that is what we did, my friend and I, worshipping deeply and staying in His presence as we celebrated Shabbat and then the supernaturalness of the Lord as God and Man when he walked the earth as Yeshua. I love the presence of the Lord when he meets with us, I love the knowing that He is in control and there is nothing we need to worry about, that He holds us in the palm of His righteous right hand, that unless He permits nothing can and will harm us as we walk in the shadow of His wings. 


And that, is the authority I have in Him, the complete security that I am walking in His Kingdom authority and that because of He who is in me, nothing can stand in the way of what He wants me to do and where He wants me to go and who He brings around me. Who can come against me if He, the Lord is for me?


My heart bursts in overwhelming gratitude for Him, for what He did for me on the cross and how He conquered death in His resurrection so that I too can conquer death to have eternal life in Him. I am His and He is mine.

With A Grateful Heart

As  2010 draws to a close, I realize how much the Lord has done for me this past year. He has done so much for me every year but somehow, this year has seen an acceleration of things pertaining to ministry for me. And yet, I see that this is just the beginning, the touching of the tip of the iceberg and I have not even begun to scratch at the surface just yet. My heart is grateful to the Lord, not so much for what He has done for me in terms of how much He has given me or how much He has blessed me. Indeed, for those things I am grateful as well. More than anything, I think I am eternally grateful to Him for where He has taken me out of. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my life would have been a horrible mess with me spiralling downwards in depression or something in that vicinity, had it not been for the grace, mercy and love of my Lord to reach down to me and pull me out of my muck and mire. He not only pulled me out of that, but also placed my feet firmly on solid rock, the rock of Yeshua or Jesus Christ. 


In return, I have nothing to give Him except for my thanks and my worship and my praise and my life. So, while I listened to Amy Grant's El Shaddai tonight, I am overwhelmed by the unchangingness of my Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the One who is and is to come, the I Am. I am overwhelmed that He remains faithful when I am not. And I am struck by shame when I think that I dare to pout thinking that I should have this and that when I should just raise my hands up in praise to Him for where He has taken me out from and for what He has done for me on the cross. As it says in Psalms 50:14, offer to God thanksgiving and pay your vows to the Most High. What I understand from it is that the one thing we can give Him that we are obligated to give Him (vows) is our thanksgiving. We owe Him thanks and yet how many of us do that? I think it is easier to ask and ask and ask and then when we don't get what we want in the time we want it, we shake our fist at God and get upset at Him. Yet, how many of us actually thank Him for what He has already given us?


Yeshua healed 10 lepers and only one came back to thank Him. I am struck by how much I ask from Him and appalled by how little I thank Him. When we thank Him, we place our focus on what He has given us already and the blessings around us but when we do not thank Him and keep asking Him for things we do not have, we focus only on the negative and we forget from where our blessings come. Therefore, we take the Lord for granted and forget that God is God and He does not have to give us anything and with one word He can take from us our life. Yet, we tend to minimize His immensity and awesomeness to make Him like one of us. God is God, the maker of the universe, the creator of life, so who are we to think that He is like us? 


Thanksgiving is a vow or a debt we owe God. He owes us nothing and yet we have a different perspective of things and think that He owes us this and that when in fact we are the ones who owe Him everything. Give thanks with a grateful heart, not just with our lips. As we close this year by celebrating with loved ones, let us make a resolution to give thanks to our God all the time and every time we open our mouth and with a grateful heart. Whether we receive or not all that we want from Him, let us remember that He has already given us all of Him and we need to thank Him from the bottom of our hearts. 

A Time to Be Born, And A Time To Die (Ecclesiastes 3:2)

It has been a day of tears and a day of laughter, a day of life and a day of death. Yesterday night, my cat who was 2 years old and who was born in Cusco, Peru whom I had rescued from the streets, spent the entire night snuggled into the crook of my left elbow following me with her eyes and just loving me when she was not asleep. She also did something she had never done before this whole time when she stayed with me in my room to try to recuperate and recover her health; she stared at the window with a stare that showed me she saw beyond, and I felt that she was seeing a freedom for herself that she had not had since she became ill. She was longing for something beyond the limits of the window. I had asked the Lord for a sign last night to see if I should have her put to sleep today and when I saw her stare out the window wistfully when she was not looking into my face, I knew that was the sign I had to release her. I had been selfish, I had wanted to prolong her life so I could have her with me. I know what she had gone through in her 2 years of life and I have seen the transformation in her life from a kitten of 8 weeks old who had to fend for herself on the streets to being uprooted to the city of Lima on a plane, to living a life of timidity and fear for the first 9 months of her life in my apartment hiding and not trusting, to finally allowing me to pet her, and to allow herself to receive the love I gave her. What I did not realize was that she loved me too, although she did not show it too much. I did not realize it until I came back from my 3 weeks vacation in Vancouver and discovered that she had not eaten the whole time I was gone because she missed me. 


Her treatment was complicated and expensive and I spent as much as I could but could go no further. Then the vet suggested that if I could not go through with the treatment in its entirety, I might have to consider putting her to sleep. I saw so much life in her eyes I knew we had to keep fighting. That day, when we got home, she ate on her own for the first time in a month. I was ecstatic and thought that we were home free. She did eat for a bit but then we had to move and the stress of that caused a relapse and she stopped eating again. In the house we moved to, I kept her in my room, in my bed, under my down comforter to keep her warm as she was constantly cold. She basically stayed in my bed and got off it every now and then to wander around a little and to drink and use her litter box. And it was really comforting to have her sleep with me even though I don't generally like to sleep with pets. I would have in my selfishness, let her keep going until she passed on on her own but every time I held her and felt her skeletal frame I knew she was suffering and that her body was feeding on itself and so I had to make the decision. On Dec 7, 2010 at 1:00pm Hannah died peacefully in my arms at home after the vet administered a potent dose of anaesthesia. I dug a grave for the first time in my life and I'm just grateful that I have a yard to be able to bury her in and not have to throw her out in a garbage bag. On her grave I planted a large aloe vera plant, a plant known for its healing. Hannah did not get healed herself but that plant will be able to be used to help heal others.


Hannah taught me that no matter what, I have to keep loving. She was an abandoned street kitten and only knew the ways of the street. For a long time even though she lived in my apartment with me and was fed by me and was loved, she was unable to trust enough to receive and accept it for herself. But the turning point came when she had to undergo spaying and was helpless and vulnerable during her recovery period. She had to learn to trust me to care for her. I learned that with this ministry that I will be doing with street youth, I will have to learn from Hannah. For a while, I might not see the result of my loving on them and they might hide and run from me and even scratch me in their mistrust. But the day will come when they will see that I am not going anywhere and that I am here to care for and love them and then I will see the fruit. Like with Hannah, I have to keep loving these youth no matter what. However, there will also be youth who have been abandoned but yet still have a trusting and yielded heart like my dog, Mayah who was also abandoned. I would have wallowed in tears today had it not have been the clownish and endearing antics of Mayah that made me laugh. I also know that I will meet many Hannahs and also Mayahs in this ministry that we are embarking on. And I am trusting the Lord to give me the grace (Hannah) to love them so they will eventually have a soft and yielded heart to get close to God (Mayah). The name Hannah means grace and favour. The name Mayah means close to God. 


Thank you Hannah for teaching me that love is a commitment and showing me what faithfulness is. And thank you Mayah for being who you are, open hearted and pure of heart. I love you both so much. 

Moving In To The House

What a crazy week it’s been and it’s only partially over! I moved house on Tuesday and aside from unpacking and dealing with the chaos of moving, I had to contend with an unfinished house, getting my landlords to put in a kitchen (incredibly, the house was never built with a kitchen in mind, no comment on this!) in an area that made sense and not right smack in the living room area (again, no comment on this) and to have them place a secure door to the entrance of the rooftop so intruders could not enter the house, a broken pipe in the wall where the shower is and having water in the wall gush into the living room, light sockets in the ceilings that did not have switches that belonged to them so they were actually redundant, bedrooms (except for mine) that never had doors planned as part of the architecture and annoying dogs left in the backyard by the owner’s mom who still had not moved out and whose dogs would not allow my dog into the yard area. All I can say is that people in this country think very differently.

The main thing is that I have moved in and my animals with me and I will be getting what I asked for from the landlords which is good. I might have to wait till the end of this week to have a fully functional kitchen and to be able to wash my clothes, but that is alright, for as they keep saying in this country, “patience, patience”. I think that is just a cop out for taking their own time to do things at times!! However, I have met some amazing people who have surprised me with the magnitude of their kindness when they find out that I am part of an organization that is going to help out in the community. The contractor who lost his baby a month and a half ago to some  congenital birth defect that is unknown here in Peru and who had to sell everything (house and all) to try to save his child had been helped by various NGOs in various parts of the world and now he is offering me and Siembra S.O.W the help of his company to fix up stuff should I need stuff fixed as we go along. He also told me that he and his crew would come and clean out the backyard and put up a real fence and make it into a yard. I was saying how I was thinking it might be good to be able to have a vegetable garden to be able to use it for food. I am so glad that God is showing me people who have great hearts. 

Everyone in this neighbourhood thinks I am a mad foreigner who has completely lost her mind in renting this entire house and from the looks of it has chosen to live by herself with only a cat and dog for company. Hannah my cat is basically living in my room as it is the only room with a door so she can have some peace and quiet from Mayah and all the work people traipsing in and out of the house. I don’t know if she will recover although I want her to but she has relapsed and has stopped eating and drinking again. This time around I don’t want to force her to eat like I did with a syringe because it was so hard on her and on me to have to do it to her.  She loves spending time with me now, hanging out in my room with me. Mayah, on the other hand, is having the time of her life. She bosses the tradespeople around and is the most excellent guard dog. She tells them off when she thinks they have crossed the line and should not be in an area where she thinks they are not permitted to be in. She follows me like a shadow, making sure I am all right and has a hard time going to the bathroom in the dirt as she is used to grass. The roof top is her playground and there she can exercise to her heart’s content, playing fetch with me, dancing with me and generally racing around. And when we go for our walks, she is the best dressed dog around with her pink studded collar and fuchsia leash. I know people think I’m doubly mad in this neighbourhood but until they know what I’m doing here, they will continue to think I’m a crazy foreigner, especially with a black mini labrador-like dog dressed like she’s from the movie, Legally Blonde. 

I am going to have to get used to being a homebody now instead of being able to go out and hanging out with friends like I used to when I lived in the suburbs. I am now in a place where the buses stop going into Lima by 8:30pm and the last bus back is at 9pm. I have been told I should not be out walking past 9pm and if friends come over, they should plan to sleep over and likewise if I go hang out with friends in the suburbs, I should plan to do an overnighter with them. Huge lifestyle change. But it’s all good. Perhaps this is what I need to prepare me for the next stage in my life. Only God knows and that’s what He’s doing, changing me and molding me and stretching me for whatever lies ahead, as He always does.

The Sowing of the NGO Siembra S.O.W.

Mark 4:31-32


It has been a ride and a half, these last few months, but more so in the last few weeks since my return from Canada. I have been and am seeing God's hand in all of the work with the NGO (non governmental organization) that we have just founded in every detail. The Lord has brought together people from various parts of this immensely large city and from different church denominations to offer their help with this work that we will start doing in the near future with the youth on the streets of Villa Maria del Triunfo. My landlord called me up today and undeterred by the fact that I have yet to move, was extremely excited about getting his cell group involved. I had to let him know that my focus right now is on packing up and moving from my apartment to the house on Tuesday. And when I am there, we will have a meeting and discuss all that we need to do to start with this work. 


I am excited, albeit a little tired from packing to move and taking care of both my pets, Hannah my cat, and Mayah my dog at the same time. However, as much as I did not want to return to Peru from Canada about a month ago now, I do realize that I have to do this work as the Lord has placed this in my heart at least five years ago now. So here I am, reluctantly dragging my feet, on one hand crying at the drop of a hat thinking of the fact that I will be moving further out of the metropolitan area of Lima to the outskirts to live in a house right smack dab in one of the most dangerous parts of this city with gangs and drug addicts and perhaps even terrorists, so I have been told; and on the other, crying at the drop of a hat when my heart starts to beat as one with God's heart and I hurt for those whom I am called to love and reach out to in the region that I am moving into. I am doubting my own sanity and yet,  my mother, the person who has been the most afraid for my safety ever since I can remember, is absolutely and perfectly fine about it, saying that she knows I will be fine because God has called me to do this work and live in that area. My mother! That to me was the biggest confirmation that I need to be there. And this is where it gets difficult and blurred,  a true dichotomy as my spirit is extremely excited because I have been seeing how God has been doing everything, planning and orchestrating it all down to the last minute detail and yet my flesh is being extremely weak resisting the move into unknown territory and being taken further away from all that is familiar and comfortable to me. 


And so begins my journey with this new mission that the Lord has given me, with this new team of people, in this new neighbourhood, in this new house to reach the ones who desperately need Him most. Thus begins the sowing of a seed to Let His Kingdom come and  His will be done!!!!