The Stars In The Night Sky

Sometimes I am at odds at what I should do and what I do. Especially out on the streets. An older man got robbed last Saturday but did not get hurt in the process and while I did not see all of it, I caught the tail end of it. It is a fine line I walk, negotiating between doing what is right and keeping my mouth shut to gain the confidence of those I am called to serve. I could not say a thing to the police because that would completely annul every shred of trust I have built with the street youth. Yet, someone got robbed. It's such a strange world out there on the streets of Ciudad, codes of ethics and behaviours that are compassionate on one hand and yet, cruel on the other. For someone like me who sees in black and white, it is a world most difficult to manouever.


The man gets robbed, the thief grabbed his wallet from his pant pocket and takes off; the victim runs a few feet after him and his keys fall out from his pocket onto the street. The girls I was sitting with all yelled at another guy to pick up the keys to return them to the victim. While the guy goes to pick up the keys, the victim decided to chase after the thief and thus, did not realize that his keys had fallen out of his pocket. I watched, listened and mulled over it. Those girls are all with guys who steal and consume drugs. They all know what is right and wrong, they hate what their partners do but they choose to stay with them still, many of them spending days and hours out on the sidewalks with their babies, waiting for their boyfriends to be done with their "jobs". They watch as innocent people get robbed, saying nothing, like me, yet, they feel compassion to call for another person to return the victim's keys to him. I wonder, would the feelings of compassion and right and wrong die within them as they get accustomed to seeing delinquent behaviours happen regularly? Would their children grow up thinking it is normal?


I guess this is how hearts get hardened, how compassion and love and value of life dies eventually. I sit there, I watch and try to make sense of what I see around me. I don't understand on a heart level although I do in a psychological and pathological manner. I don't understand why there are older women with suckling babies sitting on the sidewalks selling candy when they say they have husbands who work but that they are there selling candy because they are bored staying at home. I watch as their teenage daughters hang out with people of questionable characters. Does ignorance override common sense? Or is common sense a learned trait?


I sat with teenage girls that night, all with babies in their arms and some with babies in their wombs, all waiting out there for their guys to finish "working". By 18, most of the girls already have 2 children. I asked some of the guys if they ever think about what they want to do for their futures and most of them figure that what they have is pretty good. I asked if the thought ever crossed their minds that they might get caught and be sent to prison some day. They looked at me as if I was crazy. They're invincible and cannot fathom the possibility of that or anything else happening to them. To someone else but not to them. It's a pretty good life that they have going. But the girls who live with them? The babies who are their children? Their thoughts only go as far as themselves. 




I sat with the girls that night and wanted to shake some sense into them. They know they have no futures with the guys that they're with. They know that one day they might never see the father of their children again. Yet, the heart, the ever irrational heart rules over them and they will stay with the guys and make no demands whatsoever. They will stay and accept the lifestyle that they lead. Why? Because they know no better? No. It's because they would rather live this lifestyle than face the fear of living a life alone. 


I pray that God will give me the opportunity to share Him with them more, on a one on one basis rather than in a group setting, and that he will provide the people needed for the home/refuge to get started so some of them can get off the streets. I fear for the babies, for the next generation, I fear that they will grow up believing that delinquency is normal, that a life on the street is normal and that there is nothing better for them out there. I fear that they will grow up not knowing how to dream, to see beyond and to learn that nothing is impossible. God showed Abram the stars in the night sky so he could grasp the vision and dream that God had in His heart for Abram and his descendants. I pray that for these ones on the street, they too will be shown the vision and dream that God has in His heart for them so that they could grasp and reach for the potential and future that is theirs.