I have learned to trust Him. I can only trust Him. I believe His Word and that is what I stand on. I cannot do anything else. His Word says that He takes care of the sparrows, that He clothes the lilies in the field, that if we ask for bread He will not give us a stone. His Word says that He loves us more than we can imagine and that nothing can separate us from that love. His Word never returns void. I believe His Word. I believe that He is the God who makes all things possible. I believe that He is God Almighty. I believe in the depth of His love for us. And so I will trust.
I will trust Jose Luis to Him. I will release Jose Luis to Him and believe that His Word never returns void. I will believe that his heart of stone will change into a heart of flesh. I believe because my God never lies. The Centre called today to let me know that Jose Luis wanted to leave today. Luchin and I were supposed to go two days ago to take him to get his wrist looked at again but neither of us felt a peace to take him out of the Centre. I called the Centre to ask them what they thought of it and they said that we needed the Pastor's consent to take him out and we tried calling the Pastor but he didn't answer. So we left it at that. The Centre is voluntary, so if any one wants to leave, they can just walk out. Jose Luis talked to me on the phone and said he had lied to me and he has an uncle whose home he could go to, etc. I know he is craving the drugs and he is desperate for them. Even if he has an uncle whose home he can go to, I doubt he is heading there. He doesn't care where he can stay at or if he has anywhere to stay. He just wants the drugs.
I can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Jesus doesn't do that, so how can I? Even though every fibre of my being wanted to lock Jose Luis up behind locked doors so he won't hurt himself again. But I can't. I had to release him. I had to tell the Centre it was ok to let him go if that's what he wants to do. It hurt so much. All I could do was tell Jose Luis that I don't hold any resentment towards him and no matter what, that we care a lot about him and I want him to know that, that we want to know about him, about how he's doing, that he's not in the prison at Lurigancho or dead in a gutter. I told him he could call me again and we would still go and help him if he needed help. He asked when we go out to Ciudad. I told him. And then told him to take care of himself and blessed him.
The Word has been sown in him. It never returns void. Nothing was by chance from the time he called to now and beyond. The Lord loves Jose Luis more than I ever can and I have to trust that He will look after him as He does the sparrows in the air and the lilies of the fields. All I can do is keep loving him and pray for him.
I have to trust that the Lord will never abandon him. I know that. Yet I want to go out there and drag him back into the Centre and put him in a place where he's safe. I want him and the others out there like him to live so badly. I don't want them to die or live half lives. I want them to know what it's like to really and truly live.
Praying that God brings to fruit the seeds that have been planted in his life. Drug addiction is a hard thing to break, its not like trying to stop eating fat or excersise more, its all consuming, its peoples social circle, and people feel that they need it both physicologically, and especially in the midst of withdrawel...physically. As detoxing its quite normal for people to want to give up as its painful and different and very lonely, but with good treatment, a set agreed upon period of time that cannot be broken, longterm and fallowup careit is possible, praying that this young guy doesnt give up yet and comes back to you...and i would recommend a center that is voluntary sign in but not voluntary length of time if possible. But even then God can do miracles!
ReplyDeleteThanks Toothpastechica. All I know is that God does do miracles and I just have to keep doing my part. Keep praying please. :)
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