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Monday, February 6, 2012

One Giant Step For Me, One Tiny Millimetre For God

Tonight was bittersweet. We saw JL, the 20 year old we had taken to the rehab centre and who decided after 5 days he didn't want to stay there anymore. I asked him why he left and he said he had to wake up at 4am everyday and when he disobeyed he had to wash all the dishes. I told him I really wanted to smack him upside the head so bad. We met him at about 7:40pm and he had just woken up. The cast on his hand was off and he said his hand hurt still. I said no kidding, he had 2 fractures and now it's worse cos it probably has set incorrectly. He still smokes some and lives in the park beneath the bridge. We spoke words of life into him and also common sense, telling him we really care for him but we can't do anything if he doesn't want to change. Luchin and I prayed for him before we left and he didn't want us to leave but there was nothing we could do for him at this point but pray for him really hard. 


So many of us are classic JLs. I know I was. I chose to walk my own path for many years even when I knew God's love and grace. I chose to go homeless when God had His arms open to receive me. I thought I knew what was best for me, that I could control my own destiny. And all the while I was just existing in my own vortex of nothingness. Until I hit rock bottom. I didn't do drugs or drink myself into a stupor. On the contrary, I thought I was too smart for that and that was my problem. I thought I was too smart. Too smart to acknowledge that there is a God; even though I had had a taste of His goodness before. But He never let me go. There is nothing that can separate us from God's love and since He is love; there is nothing that can separate us from Him even when we are the ones who try to put up the barriers. So many people prayed for me all those years when I was lost in myself. I wouldn't be where I am now without their steadfast prayers. 


LG was my giant step tonight. She wanted to talk to me when we got to where the women were. It was about a legal matter that she was thinking of pursuing. While listening to her, I kept praying for wisdom and God responded. She listened when I counseled and then said she would withhold doing what she had thought to do because of what I had said to her. Flabbergasted could not have described me. Bowled over and flattened to the ground, maybe. LG is one of the hardest women on the street. To have her actually ask me for counsel and then listen and said that she would do what I had counseled showed me that it is not in vain. None of this is in vain. More than a year of building relationships out there on the streets while well meaning people constantly ask us what is the means to the end, what is the objective of it all, how many have received Christ....it's not in vain. It is not about me, the team or Siembra. It's about God and how He is so faithful even when we keep rejecting Him. It's about Him breaking down defenses by His love and constantly loving despite. For me, it was a giant step that LG would ask to talk to me, let alone listen to what I had to say. But for God, it was just a millimetre. Thank you God because you are so much bigger than I can possibly imagine. 


I am a product of many people praying me back into the Lord's embrace. So many were steadfast in praying for me. Prayer works. The prayer of the righteous man (woman) avails much, the bible says. We as a team will not stop praying for the ones on the streets and we're asking you to please not stop praying for them either. They need you. 



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