It is so easy to keep pushing doors that seem to shut. I know I do that a lot and try to open that which the Lord has already shut. However, I am learning to just walk with the Lord. And it seems harder to do when there are more responsibilities. I have a hard time dealing with inaction but I also remember what the Lord taught me from last year. I had a whole month of free time while looking for a job or in my case, jobs. And I felt that I needed to hang out with the Lord and just worship and enjoy His company. However, I allowed my worries about finances and getting a job to stop me from just chilling and being with the Lord. And I sense that once again, I am doing the same thing. This is the calm before the storm or rather the time of solitude with Him before the busyness of the ministry takes over and because I am fretting about how to do things and what people will think since we haven't actually started ministering yet and a million other things going through my head, I am losing precious time of just being free from complete responsibility. So, against the grain of my natural self, I will learn from last year, and I will allow myself to enjoy the present and just take the time to hang out with the Lord and have fun. Everything in its time and I am not pushing against any closed doors anymore. as the Lord had showed me, He will reveal the doors to be opened and it will not be my strength or force that will bring them into existence but the timing of the Lord. And it is only His strength that will push those doors open. So, until then, I am gonna enjoy my time as it is now.
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